I hardly feel as sentimental as I do right now. But something about this song just gets to me, you know? Repeat all month.
The thought of caring for something so much that you would give up anything just to keep this one moment alive forever. It’s not really about wanting anything romantic, anything ethereal. It’s this longing that you need to belong to something equal to yourself. Something that seems familiar but in some way mysterious. It’s about not being afraid of the unknown or what is to come. It’s trying to learn to live in the moment and breathe in every day the vital nutrients giving inspiration to your dreams.
I feel that we are all on our own paths to self-actualization. While we will never achieve perfection, it is great to share every imperfection with those that just get us, you know?
I’ve typed and retyped this but haven’t found an easy way to say it, nor did I ever think i would have to- my best friend of over 7 years is dying of cancer.
Steven was diagnosed on April 13th and had emergency surgery to remove the cancerous tumor while I was on a work trip in California. He’s since learned that, at the young age of 24, this aggressive cancer has spread to his lymph nodes and possibly other parts of his body including his lungs. He has a second major surgery planned for May 24th, where they will remove his lymph nodes.
Let me explain why I’m writing you all- unlike myself he doesn’t come from an large, generous family with the resources to help if one of us is in need. Because of this I am his emergency contact and have been for years and I feel it’s my responsibility to help him figure out a way to pay for his treatments during this scary and stressful time.
His insurance has said they will not pay for his $20,000 vital surgery on May 24th, a mere 16 days away. And because of his lack of funds, no collateral and past medical history, the hospital is requiring him to pay $10,000 before the surgery and $10,000 post-surgery. His doctors have also informed him that he will have intensive chemotherapy over the next few months which will cost hundreds of thousands of dollars, on top of regular doctor visits and expensive medicine.
He’s contacted many cancer organizations for help, reached out to countless charities, and has not found a way to raise the money quickly enough, so we’ve started a fundraiser online hoping to be able to pay for this next surgery before it’s too late.
Steven has been a major part of my life for over 7 years- we’ve worked together at three jobs (we’re both currently at The 88), traveled the country together, and have shared more memories than I could possibly recount. He has been there for me no matter the situation- happy, sad, or difficult, always with a positive outlook and words of wisdom wise beyond his years. He is simply one of the most generous, humorous, and interesting people I’ve ever met and someone I can’t imagine being removed from my life.
"If not now, then when?" Funny story behind this quote. During my drunker days in college (AKA freshman year), my friend and I were on our way home from some party when she suggested going to Kerbey Lane. On the brink of expelling my meals from the past 12 hours, I hesitated. All she had to ask was "if not now, then when?" and I was there. Needless to say, a whiff of her alcohol-infused hand sanitizer had me purging my assets all over the table. "Can we get our meals to go? My friend is getting sick…" I’ve never been able to look that waiter in the eyes since.